Coloring

Friends, I’m sorry for the recent silence. I’ve got all kinds of big things planned for us, but for now, let’s talk about something little.

As I write this, I am “working” on the couch with baby girl sitting beside me. She has a fever and so is a bit more subdued than usual. I am grading papers, and she was trying to “help me” with my pen.

She’s not yet 18 months old, but I thought she might like to sit next to me and color, and so I got out an old coloring book and some crayons for her.

Big boy enjoys drawing but never really loved coloring, and James has never shown an interest or ability to do it, despite our purchasing special crayons and them working with him on it at school. So, these crayons and coloring books have sat unused at our house for four or five years.

This was a small sadness for me, because coloring, and art, and drawing were big parts of my childhood and still are things I enjoy. Big Boy is a wonderful child but is so different from me, and James is James. I adore them, but sometimes I find it difficult to recognize my childhood in their childhood.

Having Baby Girl cuddle next to me on the couch and color, then, is an unexpected sweetness. It is a glimpse of what I thought motherhood might be like and has not yet been for me.

More than just a quickly melting sweet, this moment is also a happy reminder that this game is not played out. We are not fixed.

Who knows what our sweet group of three will be interested in, be capable of, and will teach me over this next school year?

I’m so glad I didn’t throw away the crayons. I hope y’all also get some color on this Labor Day.

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