Tag Archives: Cleanliness

The Monday List: Things our new house cleaners said the first time they saw our house.

You are aware that my housekeeping skills can gently be construed as “sub-par.”  We did not have anyone helping us clean the house after we moved, because there didn’t seem much point when the house was so terrifyingly hoarders-esque and we were trying to save money.

A couple of weeks ago, Husband finally reached a breaking point and decided he needed to bring in the big guns. I found two women that clean houses for some other families in our neighborhood and they agreed to take on our house. Yes, I realize we are very fortunate to be able to have help in this way.

The kind ladies agreed to clean our house before seeing it, which was clearly a genius move on my part, as this was the only way to convince someone to take the job.

When they walked in to clean for the first time, here are a few of the things they were overheard saying:

“Lordy, Jesus.”

“Dear Sweet Lord.”

“Lord have mercy.”

“You really want us to clean in there?”

“Are you sure you want us to clean in there?”

“Don’t you have a broom?” [Well, we had one. It was hot pink. But you know what happened to that.]

“Good luck, honey.”



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Things I found taped to Big Boy’s box pirate ship when I moved it for the first time in three months

When I say I worry about our family going feral, there is a reason for this. Moving five weeks after Baby Girl was born was, in a word, challenging. We desperately needed more space, as Husband put it, since there was literally a human being sleeping in every room in our old house.  So we moved into a much bigger house, and this meant that Big Boy had a new degree of freedom. My parenting style over the summer was, to put it mildly, laissez faire. 

So, per the photo below, Big Boy made the house his own. This included a large cardboard box that he turned into a pirate ship. (A ship for pirate hoarders? You decide.)

I’m kicking off a new regular feature called The Monday List.  Today, we have Things I found taped to Big Boy’s box pirate ship when I moved it for the first time in three months:

One month-old Starbucks cup full of water (desert water)

One tube of glitter (for the disco pirates?)

One long wooden block (the plank, duh)

An entire roll of green decorative tape

A paper flag with a “D”

A paper flag with a “J”

A spool of green and white ribbon, unspooled

An eight foot long plastic PVC pipe (the mast?)

A paper palm tree (on the end of the PVC pipe)

20 pieces of foreign currency (treasure)

An unrolled ace bandage

Four tongue depressors (perhaps the pirate ship has some kind of medical mission? Pirates-without-Borders?)

I think there’s one seriously happy little boy hiding in there too.


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This is what happened when I tried to be a stay at home mom this summer…

This is what happened when I tried to be a stay at home mom this summer...

Big Boy goes feral. I think we’ve managed to civilize him somewhat now that school has started again, but the large box in the back (his pirate ship) lives on. More on that later.

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September 9, 2013 · 12:43 am