When I mentioned a recent blog post to my dad, who isn’t the type to read blogs generally, he said he wasn’t following the blog. He got lost when we migrated from Tumblr to WordPress. (I’m sorry, I know he probably isn’t the only one! Come back, ya hear?)
Anyway, when I reminded him of the blog’s address, he commented that the title of the blog was “a little dark.” And yeah, I guess it is a little dark.
Lord of the Flies, in case you aren’t an eighth grader that just finished summer reading (and if you are, why are you on the internet when you have a diorama of Shakepeare’s Globe Theater to build?), is a novel about a group of British schoolboys that are shipwrecked on an island. They try to create a children’s utopia, but things devolve pretty quickly into savagery. The voices of reason and maturity in the group are drowned out in favor of the boys’ baser instincts.
So why in the heck name a blog about family and parenting after such an awful story? Well, for starters, rainbowsandkittens.com was taken. But seriously, as I’ve told you before, Husband and I often discuss the house being “all Lord of the Flies” when he comes home after I’ve been at home alone with the children. This is just one of our marital inside jokes. (Aren’t we the coolest? Joking about novels we had to read for school when we were 13?)
Our dubious sense of humor aside, why would I want something with that connotation of darkness associated with my writing about my family? In case you hadn’t noticed, there is some darkness in our lives. Seizures suck. James not having the brain development proteins he needs to live a normal life is horrible. And no one can fix it. And no one’s to blame for it. It just is.
These are dark truths about our life that I’ve had to accept, and part of the reason I’m here–maybe THE reason why I’m here–is to confront those dark parts of life so I can revel in the light parts. I hope that’s part of the reason why you’re here too, in addition to wanting to hear about the ways I continue to make a spectacle of myself both at home and in public.
Because life, our real life outside of the airbrushed facade of Facebook and Instagram, is dark and light. Some days are lighter than others, but it’s always going to be a mix. And I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn to say that this is the case for all of you, too.
So, as I say to my students, I’m not hiding the ball. I’m putting it out there. This is who we are, and we are sad and angry sometimes. But we also have a hell of a lot of fun with each other and will continue to try to catch the light when we can find it. Are you brave enough to come along?